Monday, 12 September 2011

I am sorry

Jon always says this whenever I get upset, over anything, whether or not he did wrong. Sometimes I ask him what are you sorry about? He would look blank and give me that embarrassing smile. As long as it can cool me down, he doesn’t mind to say sorry again and again. So sorry it’s definitely not the hardest thing for him to say.
But this time I know he is serious and he meant what he says. .

It was just a very casual conversation we were having last night, I said “Today something stupid happened to me. On my journey to work, I realize that something sticks on my hair. I do not know what is it, it looks like some glue to me. I was thinking and thinking, could it be the moisturizer that I applied? Cannot be right, I didn’t apply moisturizer on the back of my neck. Can it be the hair oil? Also cannot be right? None of it is sticky, I was truly puzzled .”

“Then as I reached office, I took out my Touch N Go lanyard, and there I saw a patch of glue like substance stucked on it. That’s the thing to sticked on my hair, finally the truth is revealed. But I still do not know what is the patch of glue on the lanyard. Then when I reached my seat, I took out my lanyard and wash and put back in my pouch, then I saw some sweets that I put in in the morning and one of them are open. Hence I finally finally found out that the thing that stick on my hair is actually the sweet.”

Jon looked at me with a tremendous guilt on his face, he says “ I am sorry, I dare not talk to you anymore..” In my heart, I am thinking he must be the one that left the sweet opened or something like that. I asked him “ Can you elaborate?”
But instead he said “ I am sorry Annie, now you totally talk like me, I was thinking “ What is the topic ?” when you were dwelling in all the details just now, I was thinking you could have told me “today something stick on my hair and the thing is sweet.” Now you totally talk like me, you then and then and then and hence and then, tell me all the details, and you even use the magical “Can you elaborate?” that used to be my line.”

I was, I do not know what is the right word to describe our feeling at that moment. We are like exchanging DNA, I am becoming more and more like him and he is becoming more and more like him. “What’s the topic? “ is always my question when Jon told me his long story last time, I have no patience to listen to all the details and I will normally ask him “Can you summarize in three sentences?” And now he summarized my story into just one sentence!!!

This is getting scary, I shouted at Jon “Give me back my Annie!! Give me back my Annie!! “ We are only married for two years and we are becoming someone that we could not tolerate in the beginning. What will happen in the coming five years ten years? And how will I end up when I am seventy? This is very very very scary… What should we do?

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