No, I DO NOT have split personality!

It has occurred more than one time in my life that somebody commented that I have a split personality. As I was having lunch with Zephyr this afternoon, we were talking about a friend whose life is like a fairy tales.

Zephyr said “Oh come on, your relationship with Jon is not too bad either, right?” I said “Yeah, except the part that he thinks I am literally crazy. He is suffering with my split personality”. Zephyr got very excite with the term “Split Personality”. She nodded her head very hard and said “Me too, I also think you have split personality!!!!”

Okay, that makes me worry a little. Do I really have split personality? I remember in university days, there was a friend Jilian who studies psychology, she said “I want to use you as a subject when I do my master thesis.” “Really?” I feel proud for a moment until she said “Yup, I want to study you as you have SPLIT PERSONALITY”#*!%$!.

It was a long time ago and I almost forgotten about it. Jilian was my hang out kaki during university days, we always sneak out from hostel to “Ladies Night” together. When she saw my serious face studying in the library, she could barely recognize me, especially when she found out that I was on the Dean’s List for 6 consecutive semesters. Well, a clubber that study well does not qualifies me for split personality right?

Then come this Zephyr, we always b*tch together in office, she is my best-e-st buddy for heart to heart talk, office gossips, politic issues, health concern etc she is basically my Ms Thelma for everything. Though she knows 80% about my everything, I only know about 20% of her mysterious life (is it called the 80-20 theory?)

And out of no where she comes out with this conclusion that I have split personality, I asked her to elaborate. She said “It’s through my observation” I asked her to quote some example, she said “It’s beyond description”. Although she is a hard core supporter that “Annie has split personality”, I think we can discard her opinion in the case, lol.

For Tzeh, I know why he is suffering because sometimes I will ask him question like “Tzeh, half of myself said I want to go shopping, but the other half said I want to sleep, what should I do?”, “Tzeh, Annie A says you are a good husband and I should treat you nice and Annie B said you are not sensitive at all and I should hate you forever!”

I could be so loving that I kiss him non stop like a play toy and the next moment I am totally disgusted when he even touch my finger tips. I could be so “low battery” that I can barely walk one more centimeter and the moment I see a shoe shop I could literally fly to the shop no one can stop me. Sometimes Tzeh will ask me “So you are now Annie A or Annie B?”

Well, to a certain extend I do think I may have split personality. To further confirm the fact, I asked my best friend Google. Google said “ No, you do not have split personality because..”
1. A person with a split personality, undergoes change in the personality in just a few seconds. He then acts as a completely different person. He starts to imitate behaviourial traits, characteristics, name etc of the person he thinks he is. At times the person undergoes a change where they have alters of sexual orientation, genders, nationalities and ages.

(Yes, I may have changed into another personality in just a few seconds, but I am still myself, same sex, same nationalities, same age, maybe just different passion, different preference and different state of mind. I am not suffering from Split Personality!)

2. The patient looses his memory. He doesn’t remember things happened in his life over a long period of time or between a certain period of time. It so happens that once the patient comes out from the false personality into his normal self, he doesn’t remember what had happened to him.

(No, I did not lose my memory. I remember everything I said whether I am Annie A or Annie B or C or D. When I change from Annie A to B to C and back to A, I remember it was me, just a different part of me. I am not suffering from Split Personality!)

Split personality is a very dangerous disorder, but we just cannot leave the effected person alone. Accusing someone without a split personality to have a split personality is a very dangerous crime, please do not accuse me anymore. Maybe split personality is not the right term, please research further until you tag me with it.

P/S: Feel so relived after writing this self defense blog, yet Zephyr said “I still think u got split personalities anyhow....no need defend”