Saturday, 6 December 2008

How to get your man listen to you


I do not know about you, but I’ve been taught that men and women think, speak and response differently since young. My brother bought me the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” when I was eighteen, although I didn’t quite understand it, I am subscribed to the idea that even our brains are wired differently.

Tzeh and I argued about this issue many times before, he doesn’t understand why I cannot speak up when I am angry, I do not understand why he can walk away when I am angry. I’ve been trying to tell him that I am not a man; hence I do not behave in accordance to his logical mind. So I decided to do a search online to come out with some facts and statistics to support my argument.

I was happy that I found an article entitled “Men and Women are Hard Wired Differently and respond differently”. It reads something like this ‘We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in [the way] we react and behave when we love someone.’ Of course I myself fall into the same trap but I was trying to make him understand that I am not a man!!!

Then I continue to search and I found another article “How to Communicate Effectively with Husbands” and I laughed when I saw “Women talk too much and men don’t listen enough. This is an age-old problem that seems to have no real solutions” This is never a problem for me because Tzeh is the one doing all the talking and I am the one waiting for the conclusion while he dwell on and on with the details. I teased him and asked “Did you not learn summary in school before?”

In the midst of all this, I feel pathetic for myself that why on earth do I have to try to understand man? Has he ever made the same efforts try to understand me as well? The more in understand him, the more I gave in to make him feel better, but I also wish one day that he come to me and says “ Today I learn that women are like this like that, I understand now why you do this and that, and I will try to be this and that.. ”Dream on girl, dream on...

Anyway, criticism and sarcasms do not help man to listen, so here are some tips for the women to talk in ways that will get their men to listen (see, women are always too caring and understanding to burden ourselves to learn how to speak in the way man would listen)

http://marital-communication.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_communicate_effectively_with_husbands

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